Michelle Obama Has Paid Her Dues

The Left End of the Dial blog has dug up this shot of Michelle Obama trying to choke down some rubber chicken - while her then state senator hubby lays the ground work for an eventual run for 1600.

Barack: 'Hmmmm. I wonder how much campaign cash I can squeeze out of...oh s!@#. 'Did a flash just go off? O.K. stay focused. Note to self - have assistant get me two seats at another one of these godawful dinners with Chicago's Jewish movers and shakers to counter inevitable Obama loves Arabs hates Jews headlines.'

Michelle: 'Why is this fool trying to take my picture when he sees I've got my mouth - oh wait - maybe if I move behind this carnation...'

Paging Michelle Obama

Sheh-Shell.
Sigh.
Come get ya man.

The New York Daily News reports that this went down at one of those down low rich people only fund raisers Barack has been holding sans spouse:

"He spoke for about 20 minutes, never mentioning Hillary Clinton," one guest tells us. "He was very impressive. People formed a circle around him. He shook everybody's hand and asked what they did."

One lady needed no introduction. Feasting his eyes on Beyoncé, the candidate said: "I never do this, but can I ask for your autograph?" The admiration seemed mutual as they posed for a photo. "I want a copy of that picture!" said Obama.

Naturally, he was also cordial to her boyfriend, Jay-Z, who laid his money down despite having had dinner a few nights earlier with Bill Clinton."

Naturally...as any playuh-playuh would be. When Senator Bahm-Bahm was in the pulpit in Selma on Sunday he sent a shout out to his lovely wife who was holding down the home front and taking care of the kids. He should have done the same while all hugged-up with Bey...and it's those very same kids that should have been the (very loudly) expressed reason why he was asking for some sexy 20-something singer's autograph (whether the kids wanted it or not).

Presidents have groupies - they are not groupies themselves. Learn it.

Yeah, a lot of people will say it was cute that his tongue was hanging all out. But you know who won't? Black women. They are still trying to decide whether he gets a pass or not anyway- and he will definitely be denied if they even think he has eyes for anyone other than Michelle.

Mrs. O - whether your husband was trying to get his JFK/Marilyn on or just clowning around...make him stop it. It could do more harm than good.

Obamas' Coming Out - Good....

But not great. Barack and Michelle took the show on the road Saturday. Announcing a for real for real run for the White House before the senator headed to Iowa. Obama gave good speech... it's about all of "us" - blahbity blabity. But these things, natch, are not solely about substance...they are orchestrated to capture the public's attention and imagination...and this one fell a little short. Like it or not Michelle you are part of a show, one that has to be exciting enough to make people want to get up off their asses and go vote. Your business: icon building and energizing "the base"...which means vivid royal blue, or orange, or red, or yellow coats. Not your somber black one (although I guess you get points for not breaking out the mink.)
Again, check out the masters below.
Newsday caught the Clintons in the classic pose - in colors that make people want to watch...and if they watch long enough, maybe they'll eventually listen - which is the point.
And look at the wave. (Michelle, you've got a lot of work to do on this one.)
Like European royals, Hill and Bill make the wrists do all the work...but they've added American bigness by throwing their arms high in the air.
Barack has worked out a version of the high-arm/wrist based wave but Michelle, you have some kinda whole body windshield-wiper wave going on that is tres unattractive.


Stop this immediately. Remember, you are a queen, a compassionate one yes, but still a queen who must float regally above all the dirty politics.

Michelle Obama Stars on BarackTV

barackobama.com unveiled a new look to go along with the junior senator from Illinois' OFFICIAL announcement that he's making the run for 1600...and wifey Michelle is one of the stars on "BarackTV."
The hair is a little crazy, but I'd spin that as busy mother/career woman with too much going on to obsess about hair. The pale blue turtleneck is just lovely...as are the stories about Barack whose idea of a date was to take her to one of his community organizer events to preach about how the world should be. Ah, young, buppie, want-to-run-for-president-one-day, love.

Ebony: Obamas Next First Couple?

Now this is more like it. The beach pic could be spun but in essence was a tad horrifying - so it's good that very soon afterwards the Obamas get an image out there like this. The junior senator from Illinois all suited and tied up and Michelle in Nancy Reagan red.
You can count on Ebony for some glossy pics accompanied by a nice short, non-taxing, no hard questions asked interview. Bonus.

Tip: Next time Michelle, don't let them photograph you gripping Barack from the back a la Pauletta and Denzel - in that let me hang on to my man for dear life pose that the mag is so fond of. (And yes I am that kind of familiar with Ebony Magazine covers. I make special trips a few times a year over to my granmama 'nem's house to read both Ebony and Jet. That way you can go through a stack of them in about 15 minutes. Fun times.)

An Obama Family Holiday

Excellen-tay!
Everything about this picture is right. A study in how to properly mold poli-iconograpy.
It is chiaroscuric perfection.
His ying. Her yang.
His exuberance. Her everybody calm the f!@# down-ness.
Voters love balance.
Her simple no-nonsense tee is balanced by the feminine florality of the skirt. Man-ish on top but all woman on the bottom.
It's unstuffy and modern but also has all the sepia-toned implications of a happier, nuclear family-er era.
Did I mention voters love balance?
To top it off, not only is Michelle's dark shirt slimming (those 4:30 a.m. workouts have really paid off) but as the starkest, darkest part of the pic it is also the focal point. It puts her visually/symbolically at the center of the Obama-verse.
Naturally she has the most contained smile. She's pleased...but not blissed-out. The others can have all the closed-eye'd fun. Hers are wide open - because she has to run this show.
Michelle may take second billing on the card's signature - but this photo and this campagin-in-the-making are all about the woman who could be America's Next First Lady.

The Sister Factor: Obama's Black Chick Bounce

More reasons for Bill and Hill to worry about team Obama.
From the Dec. 25th 2006 issue of Newsweek:

" Another African-American woman in Congress, who asked not to be identified for fear of offending the Clintons, says, "If her (Hillary Clinton's) base is black women, it vanishes down to zero" if Obama gets in. The fact that Obama is married to an African-American woman (Michelle Obama, a vice president of the University of Chicago Hospitals) is critically important to this constituency."

And what else do we know about this constituency? High-profile Democratic strategist and usually dead-on all around political guru Donna Brazile (more on this First Lady of her field later...) said in Essence magazine that black women are:

"the most loyal and consistent voters in American politics. Without us, there would be no Senator... Hillary Clinton of New York."

And now it can be extrapolated that without them perhaps there will be no President Hillary Clinton of the United States.
The Bill/Hill picture gets even bleaker when you throw in an Obama endorsement from Queen Oprah. Once the big "O" speaks, Hillary can kiss at least 14 million crucial votes good-bye. That sum is the number of African American women who will "vote Michelle", plus their menfolk's ballots - which you can bet will also be marked for Obama...or else.

And who says the race isn't about America's Next First Lady?

Obama Fence Fatigue Shows in New Hampshire

Well here's some more unsolicited but desperately needed advice Michelle. I know you've got your hands full running the non-campagin - but you've GOT to take a minute and make him EAT. Methinks the strain is already showing on Senator BO.He arrived in New Hampshire looking very gaunt. So gaunt in fact that his sports coat "hytched-up" in the back as my grandmother used to say. He appears to be a naturally thin guy - but if he's looking skinny even with the camera's extra ten pounds - you've got to chill him out and make him eat. Voters don't want a boney president. Seems very basic and boring I know with everything else you have to handle - I mean, a grown man should feed himself right? But this is not about him. It's about you and reigning supreme in the East Wing.
Also, I know it's a whirlwindy time - but he's gotta sleep a bit too.
His speech in New Hampshire hit on his usual points...

• need for better health care
• need for oil alternatives
• need for more money for education
• need for more ethics in politics
• need for change in Iraq
• and of course included the staples -a funny name/people called me Alabama and yo mama (he needs to switch that up at this point)...women are smarter than men/my wife smarter than me...and our problems are American problems not republican or democratic problems.

It was enthusiastically received but his energy level seemed relatively low - like he's stretched awfully thin (no pun intended). He picked up steam by the end of the speech. But the mandatory preamble where he has to thank everybody and their grandmother in New Hampshire took too much time and he seemed a bit bleary-eyed and unfocused. No it wasn't a live speech broadcast around the world during prime time...but don't let that fool you, or him. The people with the power to manipulate public opinion watched every word via AP feed as it happened.

Bottom line is that this was way too important a speech for it not to be damn near as on point and inspiring as his career-making spellbinder in 2004. Make sure he wears a better suit, eats, sleeps, and kicks it up a notch for Iowa. 'kay? Thanks.

The White Man Calls Obama "Halfrican"

Take a deep breath Michelle. This is just the beginning of media types dissecting your husband's racial make up as if he were that black/white alien on Star Trek.
A radio host in San Francisco , who is
White by the way, has dubbed BO a "Halfrican" and says his ghetto-pass should be revoked because he knows nothing of the "real" African-American experience.
From Media Matters:

From the December 4 edition of KSFO's Sussman, Morgan & Vic:

MORGAN: Senator Obama, who is, as you call, a 'Halfrican' --

SUSSMAN: Halfrican and, again, his father was -- his father was from Kenya, his mother's white. OK, now, I have nothing with mixed -- nothing against mixed-race people but, my point is, when this guy stands in front of a black audience, pretending like he was born and raised in the hood, and he can identify with their problems, he doesn't allow -- he is not, in my opinion -- 'cause my opinion is your average white guy -- he is not allowed to wear the African-American badge because his family are not the descendants of slaves, OK? He can't identify with the discrimination and the slavery and all of that that's gone into these black families for generations; he's a kid who was raised with a silver spoon in his mouth in a white family in Hawaii, OK? You wanna call me names for saying this? Go right ahead. I'm just telling you what the guy is.

Tip: Get ready for the race thing. This is nothing compared to what it will be like in say, oh, October 2008. Remain calm and always have an I'm-above-all-you-race obsessed-boneheads-answer ready like..."Oh no, I hadn't heard that."(even though you had) Smile and calmly add "But I'm sure the color of my husband's skin is far less important to the vast majority of voters, than the content of his character." This is to be uttered, by the way, while you are in constant motion. Never actually stop to answer any questions. You're just too busy.

High Jump Then Side Step

Way to work your home court advantage Michelle. Good hustle. The Chicago Defender was raving about your performance at a recent luncheon for "High Jump" an organization that serves limited income kids. You nailed your up by your bootstraps/humble beginnings/I'm one of you speech (presumably while NOT wearing your mink). But goddammit Barack should buy you another friggin' fur for mitigating even a little of the damage done by the bone-headed deal with Rezko. The scandelette simmered in Chicago for a while, but NPR picked up on the ticking time bomb this morning and that's naaaaahhhhhtttt good. BO's gonna have to explain this one for the next two years. I know you couldn't have possibly signed off on that deal before hand. It's just too stupid. But now it's your problem, so under no circumstances are you to allow Bahm-Bahm to make any more "agreements". 'Kay? Thanks.

PETA Soaks Barack Obama's Wife in Human Blood

Okay not really. But don't think they won't. Listen to me Sheh-shell. Get rid of the mink. Quick, fast, and in a hurry. I know you live in cold-ass Chicago. I know the family just had its first good year($1.7 mil. to be exact) . So you were probably just getting your splurge on after BO signed his book deal. (shoulda stopped there instead of going on the mansion hunt that landed him in his first scandalette...but I digress). PETA does not play and said coat is not worth the huge political damage you will no doubt incur when pictures of you getting PETA-pied are splashed all over YouTube.
And, even if you escape the animal rights jihadis - voters in Arkansas will give you the cold shoulder if they hear you've been flaunting your fabulous fur.

Tip: Learn from a master. Check paragraph 24 of Nixon's "Checkers" speech.

First Lady Frontrunners (D)

MICHELLE OBAMA
Wife of U.S. Senator Barack Obama (D) Illinois

Like her husband, she appears to have a great package. Harvard trained lawyer. Mother of two delightful girls.
Game face still wildly fluctuates between pretty darn good and it's so cold in Chicago my fingers froze and I couldn't put on my lipstick.
Answers to questions about husband's fidelity already point to skeletons in closet - may be source of that hint of dread.

PRO: Relative unknown. Unfamiliarity breeds admiration.
CON: Approachability quotient low.
TIP: Find a good look and stick with it. Avoid joker-brow facial expressions.


BILL CLINTON
"Husband" of U.S. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D) New York

William Jefferson Clinton ladies and gentlemen.
The perfectly coiffed snowy mane.
The frown-grin that morphs effortlessly into Squint of Concern.
The resume. The work to make sure "that woman" left in dust.
The extraordinary fundraising skills from years on ho stroll. Willie J. would be an excellent First Lady. Too bad the people/voters who don't like his wife, REALLY don't like his wife.

Pro: Been there.
Con: Been there.
Tip: Continue spousage in absentia. Appear separately and talk about Hil in glowing terms. Public realistic enough to accept old couple together out of friendship, duty, respect.
Will throw-up a little in their mouths if you try to prove you're together together.

THERESA HEINZ KERRY
Wife of U.S. Senator and possible presidential candidate (again) John Kerry (D) Massachusetts.

Teh-reh-zahhhh worked nerves in 2004.
Initially intriguing with the "I'm used to saying whatever I want" frankness. Then rich lady doing too much bus travel fatigue set in.
So did irritability and incoherence.

Pro: Husband is actually into her. Digging that.
Con: Does not yet know how to pull a Laura, zip-it, and stay above fray.
Tip: Sharply reduce usage of plastic tabs that make back of suit jacket collars stand up a la Diane Sawyer.


BARBARA RICHARDSON
Wife of New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson

Never mind that New Mexio ranks 38th in the U.S. when it comes to overall health care, in a new ad for hubby's reelection campaign - Babs sez hey- at least in some categories - NM not near last place anymore.

Pro: Can't go wrong with blond hair, pearls, and enough meat on your bones that voters don't think you're vain.
Con: Exterior not yet polished enough for a run at the Big House.
Tip: Take two inches off the bottom. Invest in some Lancome Flextencils.