Tuesday, November 07, 2006

First Lady Frontrunners (D)

Wife of U.S. Senator Barack Obama (D) Illinois

Like her husband, she appears to have a great package. Harvard trained lawyer. Mother of two delightful girls.
Game face still wildly fluctuates between pretty darn good and it's so cold in Chicago my fingers froze and I couldn't put on my lipstick.
Answers to questions about husband's fidelity already point to skeletons in closet - may be source of that hint of dread.

PRO: Relative unknown. Unfamiliarity breeds admiration.
CON: Approachability quotient low.
TIP: Find a good look and stick with it. Avoid joker-brow facial expressions.


"Husband" of U.S. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D) New York

William Jefferson Clinton ladies and gentlemen.
The perfectly coiffed snowy mane.
The frown-grin that morphs effortlessly into Squint of Concern.
The resume. The work to make sure "that woman" left in dust.
The extraordinary fundraising skills from years on ho stroll. Willie J. would be an excellent First Lady. Too bad the people/voters who don't like his wife, REALLY don't like his wife.

Pro: Been there.
Con: Been there.
Tip: Continue spousage in absentia. Appear separately and talk about Hil in glowing terms. Public realistic enough to accept old couple together out of friendship, duty, respect.
Will throw-up a little in their mouths if you try to prove you're together together.


Wife of U.S. Senator and possible presidential candidate (again) John Kerry (D) Massachusetts.

Teh-reh-zahhhh worked nerves in 2004.
Initially intriguing with the "I'm used to saying whatever I want" frankness. Then rich lady doing too much bus travel fatigue set in.
So did irritability and incoherence.

Pro: Husband is actually into her. Digging that.
Con: Does not yet know how to pull a Laura, zip-it, and stay above fray.
Tip: Sharply reduce usage of plastic tabs that make back of suit jacket collars stand up a la Diane Sawyer.


Wife of New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson

Never mind that New Mexio ranks 38th in the U.S. when it comes to overall health care, in a new ad for hubby's reelection campaign - Babs sez hey- at least in some categories - NM not near last place anymore.

Pro: Can't go wrong with blond hair, pearls, and enough meat on your bones that voters don't think you're vain.
Con: Exterior not yet polished enough for a run at the Big House.
Tip: Take two inches off the bottom. Invest in some Lancome Flextencils.

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