Saturday, December 30, 2006

In Other Other First Lady News.

The first wife and first cousin of Saddam Hussein is now a widow. The former Iraqi leader was hanged Friday night.

The Washington Post on Sajida Khayrallah:

"She's a clotheshorse. She's a bottle blonde. She's the headmistress of a girls school. She's a jealous wife, and with good reason. She's the mother of a killer. She's her husband's first cousin.
She's Mrs. Saddam Hussein."

  • Dictator Who Ruled Iraq With Violence is Hanged for Crimes Against Humaity (New York Times)
  • Brainroom: Saddam Hussein's Atrocities (FOX)
  • Witnesses: Hussein argued with guards moments before death (CNN International)

Friday, December 29, 2006

In Other First Lady News...

Juanita Jordan, wife of president-of-the-NBA-for-life Michael Jordan, has filed for divorce after 17 years of marriage. Nita put up with a lot of crap - and lately it's been all over Page Six. Sad. But not that sad. Make some New Year's resolutions and go do your thing Juanita. Oh, and during settlement negotiations - get your Bernie Mac on and make sure they go a little something like this.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

The Giulianis Caribbean Escape

Chillin' in the Bahamas with the Prime Minister - while the "exploratory committee" figures out a way to spin press like this.

Where the F!@# is Elizabeth Edwards

Move over Tom Vilsack and Dennis Kucinich - a Democrat who actually has a chance to win has officially announced he's making the run for 1600.

That's right former Sen. John Edwards (D) N.C. ... in all his Tom Crusian in.

He made the announcement in New Orleans which is still screwed, chopped, scattered, smothered and covered.

...John with the kids in the lower 9th ward.

...John helping one of the homeowners who was bitch-slapped by Katrina.

...John in all his profiletudinous splendor, a money shot of the Bob Kennedy cow-lick bangs.

But the question remains. Where the hell was his wife? He needs her. Watch how she kept him from saying something that could have been blown way out of proportion earlier this month.

A Very Clinton Christmas

Pic probably taken in the last few years in the Dominican Republic where the fam frequently holidays gratis at the
De la Rentas' - while the secret service and press are forced to camp out in some crap hotel on the other side of Punta Cana.
This is the suckiest of all the pseudo-personal holiday cards. Hil/Bill has got to do better this close to an announcement.
Image is everything. Just ask the Obamas and the Edwards-ez...who by the way are kicking Hil/Bill's ass in a new Iowa poll.
A picture is worth a thousand votes.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Giulianis: We're Married Now. Vote for Us.

Pics on the brand spakin' new web site
show a smiley Judi and a happy Rudy.
Still not enough to make conservatives in the red states forget about stories like this...or this... or this.
But keep trying kids. I like your spunk.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Edwards Family XXX-mas

Festive. 'Cept eldest daughter Cate is close to pulling a Britney and showing every single bit of her business. Oh well, shows they're not uptight, overly controlling, pain in the ass parents who call you a "tramp" when all you want to do is wear a ripped-up sweat shirt so you can look like Jennifer Beals in Flashdan...
Oh, ummmmm -

The whole family is lovely but what hell is Elizabeth looking at? Voters want eye contact Lizzy.

An Obama Family Holiday

Everything about this picture is right. A study in how to properly mold poli-iconograpy.
It is chiaroscuric perfection.
His ying. Her yang.
His exuberance. Her everybody calm the f!@# down-ness.
Voters love balance.
Her simple no-nonsense tee is balanced by the feminine florality of the skirt. Man-ish on top but all woman on the bottom.
It's unstuffy and modern but also has all the sepia-toned implications of a happier, nuclear family-er era.
Did I mention voters love balance?
To top it off, not only is Michelle's dark shirt slimming (those 4:30 a.m. workouts have really paid off) but as the starkest, darkest part of the pic it is also the focal point. It puts her visually/symbolically at the center of the Obama-verse.
Naturally she has the most contained smile. She's pleased...but not blissed-out. The others can have all the closed-eye'd fun. Hers are wide open - because she has to run this show.
Michelle may take second billing on the card's signature - but this photo and this campagin-in-the-making are all about the woman who could be America's Next First Lady.

Barack O. Bomber?

Grumpy old pundits argue over Baramma Obammer. Fun times.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Bill Sticks to Script...Stays Out of Spotlight

Shock Poll: Hillary Clinton tied with Rudy Giuliani, Beats McCain (National Ledger)
Is Hillary Close to Announcing '08 Run? (FOX)
Hillary Clinton: Time for a Woman President (NPR)

More Money for the McCains

Cindy sells the manch for $3.2 mil. sez:
"U.S. Sen. John McCain, the Arizona Republican, and his wife, Cindy, are leaving the big place in north central Phoenix behind to move to a condo near 24th Street and Camelback Road. Cindy McCain owned the house through a trust.
Looks like sooommmeee-ooonneee is planning on moving into the East Wing.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Bayh Susan, Hello Elizabeth Kucinich

Ok - Last week we had to say buh-Bayh to Susan - so one potential First Lady is out... but a new one is in!

Meet Elizabeth Kucinich bride of Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D) Ohio

In the midst of the cacophony that was the re-hashing of the Obama visit to New Hampshire - a little announcement got lost.
Congressman Dennis Kucinich is running for president...again.
No hemming and hawing. No exploratory committee. He's in godammit. And that means his wife Elizabeth is too - and from what I've seen so far she's ADORABLE. Good asset Denny. Just click the arrow below to look at the way she strode in with him for his announcement, not at all self-conscious about towering over her elfin hubby (been there).

The Jackie-in-Dallas pink jacket was a plus and she seemed very not freaked out in the spotlight.
Plus, she's got a little substance to go with her style. Watch the England-native talk about her travels around the world to work with the poor. Okay it's a tad Soon Yi that she's 28 years-old ...THREE DECADES younger than Kucinich. That even beats the age-canyon between the Mccains...but young lungs means Lil' bet won't run out of breath in her very uphill race to be America's Next First Lady.

Pro: Bight-eyed and bushy-tailed, with slight air of detachment. Fabulous.
Con: Got a whole lot of Rapunzelocity going on, too much for Washington.
Tip: Get thee to the Okyo Salon in Foggy Bottom stat for a trim, doesn't have to be a cut cut, but jesus.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

The Sister Factor: Obama's Black Chick Bounce

More reasons for Bill and Hill to worry about team Obama.
From the Dec. 25th 2006 issue of Newsweek:

" Another African-American woman in Congress, who asked not to be identified for fear of offending the Clintons, says, "If her (Hillary Clinton's) base is black women, it vanishes down to zero" if Obama gets in. The fact that Obama is married to an African-American woman (Michelle Obama, a vice president of the University of Chicago Hospitals) is critically important to this constituency."

And what else do we know about this constituency? High-profile Democratic strategist and usually dead-on all around political guru Donna Brazile (more on this First Lady of her field later...) said in Essence magazine that black women are:

the most loyal and consistent voters in American politics. Without us, there would be no Senator... Hillary Clinton of New York."

And now it can be extrapolated that without them perhaps there will be no President Hillary Clinton of the United States.
The Bill/Hill picture gets even bleaker when you throw in an Obama endorsement from Queen Oprah. Once the big "O" speaks, Hillary can kiss at least 14 million crucial votes good-bye. That sum is the number of African American women who will "vote Michelle", plus their menfolk's ballots - which you can bet will also be marked for Obama...or else.

And who says the race isn't about America's Next First Lady?

The Bill Dilemma; Hurting or Helping Hillary

I wring my hands over this one everyday. Such an absorbing , sad, juicy, potentially dangerous conundrum.
As I said right after mid-terms...Bill Clinton is Hillary's biggest asset and he is Hillary's biggest vulnerability.

Now from the Washington Post:
"From now until Election Day 2008, the national fascination with the Clintons and their marriage will be central to the race. The media-industrial complex will again feed like hungry hounds on the Clintons, their past and future; on the Clintons and their mysteries; on power and politics as the Clinton lifeblood propelling her run against all odds."

So just how should Hillary play her big ol' fat Bill card. His charm alone would get and has gotten her millions of votes. And he's the all time black-belt master of kung fu masters when it comes to fund raising. Flip side - the hoe-dum problem and a bigger problem still... if you give him an inch and he'll take a mile - and end up stealing all her thunder. Dude can't help it.

Again from the Post.
"There's something unbridled about Bill's neediness, this love of the crowd -- like the story about his trip to the World Cup in Berlin this year. En route to the stadium on a bus carrying several aides and donors, Bill told the bus driver to head instead to the Brandenburg Gate, the New Yorker reported. There, hundreds of thousands of soccer fans had gathered to watch a match on giant television screens. Uninvited, the former president mounted the stage where a rock band had been performing, and just stood there waving and thanking the crowd, which responded with roaring cheers."

So here's what you do Bill, make your grand statements - you're liable to do something supremely stupid if you're kept too caged up - just make sure you keep making said statements ONLY on foreign soil. The U.S. is henceforth and forever more Hill Country, and just like when she won reelection to the Senate , you are to stand your ass back behind the curtains and nod a little and barely smile. As with all the best First Ladies your complete control of your spouse, and therefore the presidency, should be completely hidden.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Obama Ear Flap, Make him shut up Michelle

It all started back in October when the New York Times' Maureen Dowd wrote:

"He’s intriguingly imperfect: His ears stick out, he smokes, and he’s written about wrestling with pot, booze and ‘’maybe a little blow'’ as a young man."

And there it would have stayed, buried beneath the sex-scandals, racist rants, and all the other pre-midterm election insanity - that is if Senator BO himself hadn't resuscitated it.

Fast forward to December '06. He sees Dowd in New Hampshire and says:
"I just want to put you on notice.... I was teased relentlessly when I was a kid about my big ears."
It was all caught on audio tape natch, and now there's a percolating debate over whether the junior senator from Illinois was serious or not...over whether he's getting a free ride from some media or not, on and on. It's fodder for Rush Limbaugh and even an "Open Question" on Yahoo for chrissakes. He uttered two sentences that have generated a million column inches of unecessariness.

It's not his big ears - but his big mouth that he should worry about. And now, Mrs. Obama, it's your job to make him put a sock in it.
At this level of unimaginable scrutiny there can be no unscripted jokes in public places, no private throwaway comments meant to flatter-slash-intimidate influential columnists. That job should be left to staff. The next time he sees some random b!@#$ that took a swipe at his ears, tell him to smile, wave, and keep steppin'. Unless, of course, said b!@#$ is moi.

MSNBC'S Carlson joins Limbaugh in taking Obama "big ears" comment seriously (MediaMatters)

GOP media lemming alert: Is big-eared Barack Hussein Obama this year's John Francois Kerry? (MediaMatters)

Barack Obama - He's All Ears; Maureen Dowd Questions Whether He's All Man (Bizzyblog)


Susan! This is a shocker! You're out already? It's just getting good.
Well, it seems that after all of your hubby's David and Goliath talk - you guys have decided that your slingshots are just no match for the giant political WMDs wielded by Obama, McCain, Clinton, Giuliani, et al. Kudos though for making the announcement on a Saturday smack dab in the middle of the Christmas holiday season. Keeps everything nice and under the radar- just where bail out announcements should be. Espeically since there are so many cyber-rumors swirling about why you guys really got out.
Oh well.
One question for you before you go though... Er um ,what happens to the $10 million you guys stashed for a run? Is that why you're still so perky? Just asking.

Bay Says He Will Not Run for President in 2008 (New York Times)
Obama effect: Goodbye Bayh (Chicago Tribune)
Bayh Out? (Daily Kos)

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Elizabeth Edwards Gets the Memo...

and hauls ass to New Hampshire - hot on the heels of Christie Vilsack.
Libby? Michelle? Cindy? Judi?

Elizabeth Edwards in N.H. (WCAX-TV)

Note to Mrs. Obama: Skip the Hawaiian Vacay

Dear Michelle,

I understand you and the fam are going to Hawaii for the X-mas holidays. Soak up some sun. Make some decisions about the run for 1600. Hey, I understand. But you might want to consider cutting it short.
Show up in somebody's soup kitchen somewhere on Christmas Day. The sniffers have already been sniffing around your books and now they're trying to get some traction on that er um pre-holiday layoffs decision made by you and the rest of the Bay Valley Foods board. Firing Hispanic union workers who will now NOT have a Feliz Navidad - and then heading to the beach? Not a good look.

Have fun,


Vilsack Prepping for Daily Show

Uh -huh. Are you listening to me now Christie? Just as I predicted last week, the Daily Show is trying to make up for making a lame joke about your last name - by inviting Tommy on for a chat with Jon. Excelen-tay. Now all Mr. Christie has to do is nail it.
Use Obama appearance as road map.
See instructions below. Ciao.

Vilsack to appear on cable t.v.'s "The Daily Show" (Radio Iowa)
Vilsack to be on "The Daily Show" (Quad City Times)

Barack Obama on Daily Show

See Christie. Tell Tom to watch, listen, and learn from Obama's little tête à tête w/Jon. Start off semi-serious, parry the thrusts, be deadly serious somewhere in the middle then end with a zinger. Tip: Avoid uncomfortable silences caused by glib/too short answers like the one about 1:47 in. Thanks. M.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Elizabeth Edwards' Blog Flap

Archpundit has quite the little bru-ha-ha going on over Elizabeth Edwards and her role in her husband's yet to be announced presidential campaign. In an assessment of the chances of various potential candidates the original post said of John Edwards:

"The final problem is one not talked about very often. Elizabeth Edwards is a person you love and pledge your undying loyalty to, or she’s a pain in the ass who is petty, vindictive, and overly demanding. She’s driven away many a consultant from one who was quoted explaining why Senators weren’t supporting Edwards–there was no criticism–just a description of what Senators thought, to Steve Jarding and Mudcat Saunders to David Axelrod... Campaigns cannot be run when the entire staff has to answer to someone outside the traditional hierarchy. It creates fear and people tend to avoid taking risks."

Long story short... Lizzy (or at least one of her friends pretending to be Lizzy) nipped some blosgosphere bullsh@! in the bud. And with a well-worded reply had Archpundit apologizing.

Let this be a lesson ladies. Cyber-space counter attacks work. And you don't have to be in hair and make-up to launch them.

Don't Sleep on Christie Vilsack

Um, while ya'll were out getting ya'll's nails done Iowa's Christie V. was out stumping AGAIN for Tom. Just thought ya'll should know.

Vilsack to stump in Siouxland for husband (Sioux City Journal)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Mountain Comes to Mohammed

Yes Ladies, while your spouses are high-tailing it to Iowa and New Hampshire and Florida and who knows where else this week, guess where possible/probable candidate Hillary is. At home.
The junior senator from New York doesn't go to the primary state potentates, the primary state potentates come to her...and ya know why? Two words.
Big Willie.
Don't hate. Imitate.

Michelle Obama's Money

Remember all that initial reporting on the reluctance of Senator BO's wife to jump into the campaign? Well that's because she knows once she and Barack are in in reporters are going to follow the money - and all her business is gonna be in the middle of Michigan Ave.
Some people are already taking a fine-toothed comb to the Obama family books. Tom Beven of Real Clear Politics writes:

"Obama's wife, Michelle, earns $45K a year sitting on the corporate board of Treehouse (formerly Dean) Foods, whose biggest customer is - you guessed it - Wal-Mart. Not to mention that Treehouse appears to have a bit of an executive compensation issue."

AW-KWARD. Seeing how Bahm Bahm recently lashed out against Wally-World for its sweat-shopiness.

And on top of the 45k, of course Sheh-shell gets another 300k or so a year for being an external affairs v.p. for the University of Chicago Hospital - that's three times as much money as she was making just two years ago... before hubby landed himself a seat in the U.S. senate. And it's enough money to really piss off a few folks in Chicago.

Tip: Study Hillary Clinton's responses and demeanor during her Whitewater/Rose Law Firm tribulations. Hopefully you've got some bad investments somewhere to show you've lost money "like every body else."

Babs! What the Heck Were You Thinking?

Barbara Richardson. The First Lady of New Mexico. Wife of Governor Bill. And half of a duo with White House a pony-tail, no make up, and a quilted vest? Did you think you were giving a speech in your basement? The Alamogordo Daily News didn't do you any favors with this pic. Or maybe they did - to remind you that you've gotta to slap some style on that substance if you and Bill are going to make a run for 1600.
This is NOT very First Lady like.

Obama's Fatigue - Update

Okay. Obama gets a pass on his less than energetic performance in New Hampshire.

The Washington Post says:
"Family issues remain a potentially significant obstacle to Obama. He arrived in New Hampshire close to midnight Saturday because he was attending a ballet recital for one of his two young daughters, and the demands of a presidential campaign would keep him away from his family for much of the next two years."

Well that explains it, but Michelle, tell him he absolutely must mention stuff like that in the body of his main speeches. It's voter-nip.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Obama Fence Fatigue Shows in New Hampshire

Well here's some more unsolicited but desperately needed advice Michelle. I know you've got your hands full running the non-campagin - but you've GOT to take a minute and make him EAT. Methinks the strain is already showing on Senator BO.He arrived in New Hampshire looking very gaunt. So gaunt in fact that his sports coat "hytched-up" in the back as my grandmother used to say. He appears to be a naturally thin guy - but if he's looking skinny even with the camera's extra ten pounds - you've got to chill him out and make him eat. Voters don't want a boney president. Seems very basic and boring I know with everything else you have to handle - I mean, a grown man should feed himself right? But this is not about him. It's about you and reigning supreme in the East Wing.
Also, I know it's a whirlwindy time - but he's gotta sleep a bit too.
His speech in New Hampshire hit on his usual points...
  • need for better health care
  • need for oil alternatives
  • need for more money for education
  • need for more ethics in politics
  • need for change in Iraq
  • and of course included the staples -a funny name/people called me Alabama and yo mama (he needs to switch that up at this point)...women are smarter than men/my wife smarter than me...and our problems are American problems not republican or democratic problems.
It was enthusiastically received but his energy level seemed relatively low - like he's stretched awfully thin (no pun intended). He picked up steam by the end of the speech. But the mandatory preamble where he has to thank everybody and their grandmother in New Hampshire took too much time and he seemed a bit bleary-eyed and unfocused. No it wasn't a live speech broadcast around the world during prime time...but don't let that fool you, or him. The people with the power to manipulate public opinion watched every word via AP feed as it happened.

Bottom line is that this was way too important a speech for it not to be damn near as on point and inspiring as his career-making spellbinder in 2004. Make sure he wears a better suit, eats, sleeps, and kicks it up a notch for Iowa. 'kay? Thanks.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Christie Vilsack Hits the Bricks

Cristie's making moves on her own. Bonus. The wife of the first Democrat with the huevos to say uneqivocaly that he's running in 2008 made her very own spouse-less trip to all important New Hampshire this week. Reporter Thomas Beaumont, who is tracking the long shot campaign, writes that one NH state Rep. said:

"I must note that (Iowa) Governor Vilsack's campaign will truly benefit from his wife's willingness to hit the trail for him"

And don't worry Christie. Yes, the Daily Show is making a national joke out of your name, but Jon Stewart also routinely feels guilty for cheap shots and will eventually invite your husband on for a guest appearance. If Tommy aces that...that's a good 5 point bump right there.

Yep Chrissy, glad you're taking charge (unlike some first lady wannabes who shall remain nameless Libby.)
You get 10 extra points for substance this week.
Now let's talk about style...

Christie Vilsack Takes her own trip through N.H. (Des Moines Register)

Friday, December 08, 2006

The White Man Calls Obama "Halfrican"

Take a deep breath Michelle. This is just the beginning of media types dissecting your husband's racial make up as if he were that black/white alien on Star Trek.
A radio host in San Francisco , who is
White by the way, has dubbed BO a "Halfrican" and says his ghetto-pass should be revoked because he knows nothing of the "real" African-American experience.
From Media Matters:

From the December 4 edition of KSFO's Sussman, Morgan & Vic:

MORGAN: Senator Obama, who is, as you call, a 'Halfrican' --

SUSSMAN: Halfrican and, again, his father was -- his father was from Kenya, his mother's white. OK, now, I have nothing with mixed -- nothing against mixed-race people but, my point is, when this guy stands in front of a black audience, pretending like he was born and raised in the hood, and he can identify with their problems, he doesn't allow -- he is not, in my opinion -- 'cause my opinion is your average white guy -- he is not allowed to wear the African-American badge because his family are not the descendants of slaves, OK? He can't identify with the discrimination and the slavery and all of that that's gone into these black families for generations; he's a kid who was raised with a silver spoon in his mouth in a white family in Hawaii, OK? You wanna call me names for saying this? Go right ahead. I'm just telling you what the guy is.

Tip: Get ready for the race thing. This is nothing compared to what it will be like in say, oh, October 2008. Remain calm and always have an I'm-above-all-you-race obsessed-boneheads-answer ready like..."Oh no, I hadn't heard that."(even though you had) Smile and calmly add "But I'm sure the color of my husband's skin is far less important to the vast majority of voters, than the content of his character." This is to be uttered, by the way, while you are in constant motion. Never actually stop to answer any questions. You're just too busy.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Good Pataki, Bad Pataki

Yes, George put on a very good I'm-not-sure-I'm-running-for-president-but-here's-my 28-point-plan-for-fixing-Iraq show on CNN. But any traction gained is slowly being eroded by bad stories about you Lib.

The Ithaca Journal's Jay Gallagher wrote:

(New NY Gov.) "Spitzer also said his wife, Silda Wall, won't take any paying job while he is governor. The future First Lady has for a decade run a non-profit organization that helps children volunteer their time and money to help poorer children.

That of course is in stark contrast to the current First Lady, Libby Pataki, who made hundreds of thousands of dollars most years her husband was governor as a consultant to various companies, some of which had ties to wealthy Republicans."

This comes after your "Driving Miss Libby" scandalette and maid-gate.
Tip: Take some of those hundreds of thousands you got and hire a consultant to give you an emergency image makeover.

Somebody's Ass is Sooooooo Fired

Jackie O hell no.
Not one, not two, but three different women showed up for a White House dinner in the EXACT same Oscar de la Renta gown as THE FIRST LADY WAS WEARING.
While clutching her pearls Jaqueline Kennedy's former Chief of Staff and Social Secretary emeritus Letitia Baldridge couldn't resist this clenched teeth comment to CBS...

"They all should have congratulated one another on their good taste and the fact that they could afford the dress," Baldridge says. "Jacqueline Kennedy, when she was first lady made sure, and her couturiers made sure that nobody else wore that dress that season."
Ladies take note.

(pics e-ganked from the fabulous

Invitation to a White House holiday dinner? $100,000 in political contributions.
Red, "one-of-a-kind" Oscar? $8,500.
The sound of three old rich women simultaneously tearing the de la Renta people new ones? Priceless.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Longshot List Gets Longer

Susan Bayh is ignoring the fact that nobody can pronounce her last name and is pushing her husband towards a run.

Wife of Sen. Evan Bayh (D) Indiana.
Mother of twin boys.
Lawyer. Teacher. All around busy body.

Pro: Perky. People like perky.
Con: Overly perky can be a pain in the ass.
Tip: Take some sound advice from this Indianapolis insider.

Bayh to Form Committee for '08 Presidential Run (FOX)
Bayh must work on name recognition (WTHR-TV)
Evan Bayh's Day of Infamy (The New Republic)

Jesus on Brownbacks' Exploritory Committee

That's right heathens. Mary Brownback is considering a run for First Lady.
Wife of Sen. Sam Brownback (R) Kansas.

Self pro-claimed "full-scale" conservatives, the Brownbacks have decided to test the waters after much "prayerful consideration."

Pro: Newspaper fortune heiress - always a bonus when cup runneth over with cash.
Con: Looks like my third grade teacher. Hated her.
Tip: Play up fact that two of your five kids are adopted - puts a drop of compassion in your "compassionate conservatism".

God's Senator (Rolling Stone)
Brownback calls for more family values (Houston Chronicle)

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Pope Shows First Ladies How It's Done

Take note ladies. THIS is how you make an ahn-trahnce. Pope Benedict XVI, who serves as his own First Lady, mesmerizes in a winter white Armani-inspired if not designed double breasted coat, matching beanie, and his trademark Prada shoes. The pope disembarked from Air Pope One in Turkey this week - a country with its fair share of people who want to kill him for saying Islam is violent. What saved him? His too-fabulous-to-assasinate sense of style. They may hate his guts, but they love good tailoring. Even the Turkish media were enthralled.
Esteemed firstladyologist Lisbeth Baldrige says "It's First Lady 101. When your spouse is being trashed for some bonehead can always divert attention away from the odd racist rant or shady land deal with a kick-ass ensemble and perfect accessories."

Papal visit: On a wing and a prayer (London's Independent)
The Pope Wears Prada...and Gucci...and sequins (Pandagon)
Fashion: The Pope Wears Prada (Newsweek)

Friday, December 01, 2006

Michelle Obama. Wife. Mother. Diabolical Rovian Advisor.

That's right. More proof that 2008 is about the ladies. When it comes down to planning that run for 1600 Barack knows he can get the final green light from one person - and one person only. And Chicago's Channel 7 says and insider says Michelle says it's go time. Bitches.

The Daily Troika: Obama's Secret Meet (National Journal's Hotline)

Cindy McCain pulls a Lady Di on Land Mines

Cin-Cin is doin' a Diana and going to Cambodia to call attention to land mines.
The move bolsters her and therefore John's international standing, reminds the electorate that - unlike so many other candidates that shall remain nameless - her husband actually did serve in the Viet Nam war... and puts her in a different league than those other first-lady wanabees who can only seem to attach themselves to projects like helping American kids (yawn) read.
Way to lay the groundwork for the inevitable princess comparisons.
Both blond and pretty. Diana was addicted to making herself vomit. Cindy was addicted to getting high. Both mitigated damage from scandal with sympathy inducing vulnerability and killer clothes. Genius.

Tip: Orchestrate a fabulous Di-like photo-op with you walking around in a giant face mask to protect you from shrapnel in a field that has already been swept. Also, milk your thinness by appearing in a pair of snug khaki "I'm out actually doin' stuff pants" a la Diana. And yes, I've got to say it, a Diana haircut would work oh so nicely too.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Like all good potential First Ladies Bill is doing the right thing by smiling and fighting aids in India and staying above the fray and ignoring reports slamming his and Hillary's record on abortion Meanwhile cyber conservatives are revving up their hard-drives in a new effort to defeat Hillary in '08 despite the fact that she hasn't announced she's running yet.

Michelle Distracts Oprah While Bahm Bahm Gets His Meet on with Luda

Pimpin' all over the world...including Chicago where the junior senator from Illinois shows he's down with rapper Ludacris despite said rapper's beef with Obama's "girl" the almighty Oprah. Luda and Barackay Fiasco talked about empowering youth and then commiserated about hoes.

"Hoes In My Room" (Ludacris)
Barack Obama Meets with Ludacris (Blogger News Network)
Obama, Ludacris Rap about AIDS (Chicago Sun-Times)

Vilsacks, Okay Now Were Really RUNNING Running

What do we like about Christine Vilsack? - She's right there waving away even though her husband doesn't have a shot in hell to win in 2008.
What we hate about Christine Vilsack? The 56 year old's insistence on wearing a maternity suit to the "official" campaign kick-off.

'Underdog' Vilsack Officially Launches Campaign (Des Moines Register)

Friday, November 24, 2006

Pataki Problems

Well it's obvious neither you nor George have been listening to me.
First, CBS says only 15 percent, FIFTEEN PERCENT, of New Yorkers believe Georgie would make a good President.
Then there was the Driving Miss Libby scandal. And now... maid-gate. Trust me. I totally get the need to have a staffer drive 100 miles from the manch to your other abode to deliver your dinner.
Voters in Wyoming - not so much. And it's all about them, at least until you get to 1600.
But at this rate, you'll be lucky not to get kicked out of NY.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Maybe Future Mrs. Bloomberg Out?

No. Not out gay out. Out of the running for First Lady out.
At least that's what Bloomberg is pretty much saying by refusing to get up off his cash cushion and take one for the team.
Too bad. Di ranked way up there on substance. And got plenty points for style too, as evidenced in this photo with the man who refuses to marry her and the crypt keeper.

Mayor Bloomberg Urges 2008 Hopefuls On. (Wash Post)

Cindy v. Judi. Tale of the Tape

Okay ladies. CBS sez your husbands are matching up pound for pound in a fight to the death for the Republican nomination. The resume comparison actually includes their movie cameos - and by that measure I guess McCain is ahead because "Wedding Crashers" sucked less than "Anger Management".
What the media should be doing is weighing the women.
Here's Cindy v. Judi.

Wife of U.S. Senator John McCain (R) Arizona

Comes off as quite likable in a grew up rich former vicodin stealer kind of way. Ultimately admitted a past pill addiction but would probably have been better if that hadn't surfaced until after a stint in the White House a la Betty Ford and Pat Nixon. But hey better to fess up if you're about to get outed. And America loves a good I'm so sorry I was getting blunted story. It was the pressure. Gets extra points for having the magic number of kids- 4.( plus the 2 girls 2 boys bonus).

PRO: Gives good political spouse hair, makeup, and clothes.
CON: Why was she stealing drugs when her family is rich?
TIP: A little Mary Tyler Moore going on with your hair flippage. Spank down.


Side Chick turned 3rd wife of Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R) New York

Sponge-bathed her way to the alter by nursing Rudy through a prostate cancer scare. (Take note Diana Taylor). If Rudy runs she'll have to spank down the Manhattan socialite hair and make up. Waaaaaaaaaay down.

Pro: Stood by her man.
Con: Some will always consider her a home wrecker.
Tip: Looking a little plastic these days. If Rudy does run plan next "freshening" well in advance so it has time to sag a bit.

Likeable First Lady = up to a 7 point boost. Or at the very least, keeps approval ratings from sinking into the single digits. Just ask Laura.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

High Jump Then Side Step

Way to work your home court advantage Michelle. Good hustle. The Chicago Defender was raving about your performance at a recent luncheon for "High Jump" an organization that serves limited income kids. You nailed your up by your bootstraps/humble beginnings/I'm one of you speech (presumably while NOT wearing your mink). But goddammit Barack should buy you another friggin' fur for mitigating even a little of the damage done by the bone-headed deal with Rezko. The scandelette simmered in Chicago for a while, but NPR picked up on the ticking time bomb this morning and that's naaaaahhhhhtttt good. BO's gonna have to explain this one for the next two years. I know you couldn't have possibly signed off on that deal before hand. It's just too stupid. But now it's your problem, so under no circumstances are you to allow Bahm-Bahm to make any more "agreements". 'Kay? Thanks.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006