Maureen on Michelle

Maureen Dowd is at it again.
From the NYT via theunknowncandidate:

"Usually, I love the dynamics of a cheeky woman puncturing the ego of a cocky guy.

I liked it in ’40s movies, and I liked it with Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel, and Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis in “Moonlighting.”

So why don’t I like it with Michelle and Barack?"

Well how about it's because you don't like much of anything?

Or maybe it's o.k. when the "cheeky woman" is White?

Or perhaps it's because you secretly lust after Senator Bahm Bahm - like millions of other women across America - and can't stand to have the fantasy punctured?

All of the above?

Go somewhere and sit down.

Michelle Still Suffering for Barack's Rezko Stupidity

From: Stella's Column (Chicago Sun-Times)

"THAT'S CLASS! U.S. Sen. Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, were spotted seated in coach for the eight-hour trip back from their Hawaii vacation. This is one smart couple! ... They are on the cover of the February issue of Ebony, hitting newsstands Monday. Michelle's birthday is Wednesday."

We get it. Senator BO is the common man. He loves the little people. Yes, he's got a 1.7 million dollar mansion and two New York Times bestsellers but dammit he will not buy first class plane tickets with what everyone will assume are his ill-gotten Rezko gains.
Understandable. But Jesus. Honolulu International to O'Hare in coach - when you don't absolutely have to? Just take a deep breath Michelle. Air Force One has a looootttttttaaaaa leg room and M&M's with the presidential seal and your name on the box.

Obama Uncovered

Okay. So it's clear from this People Magazine pic that Senator BO doesn't join Michelle in those daily 4:30 am workouts. But good call Michelle in not demanding that he shape up. Yes it's a drag when you get all fine and ish - and he's about two
poo poo platters away from needing a Bro, not to mention those cheechos happening around the middle. And somehow it's even worse to roll over and feel that on a thinnish man (been there). However, the flab says "I'm just too busy, too dedicated, working too hard for the people of the great state of Illinois (and would do the same for all Americans as president) to find the time to stay in shape."
Overall assessment: The squishiness, while a little gross, works. Good move in getting that out there.

Note to Mrs. Obama: Skip the Hawaiian Vacay

Dear Michelle,

I understand you and the fam are going to Hawaii for the X-mas holidays. Soak up some sun. Make some decisions about the run for 1600. Hey, I understand. But you might want to consider cutting it short.
Show up in somebody's soup kitchen somewhere on Christmas Day. The sniffers have already been sniffing around your books and now they're trying to get some traction on that er um pre-holiday layoffs decision made by you and the rest of the Bay Valley Foods board. Firing Hispanic union workers who will now NOT have a Feliz Navidad - and then heading to the beach? Not a good look.

Have fun,

M.

Michelle Obama. Wife. Mother. Diabolical Rovian Advisor.

That's right. More proof that 2008 is about the ladies. When it comes down to planning that run for 1600 Barack knows he can get the final green light from one person - and one person only. And Chicago's Channel 7 says and insider says Michelle says it's go time. Bitches.

The Daily Troika: Obama's Secret Meet (National Journal's Hotline)

Michelle Distracts Oprah While Bahm Bahm Gets His Meet on with Luda

Pimpin' all over the world...including Chicago where the junior senator from Illinois shows he's down with rapper Ludacris despite said rapper's beef with Obama's "girl" the almighty Oprah. Luda and Barackay Fiasco talked about empowering youth and then commiserated about hoes.

"Hoes In My Room" (Ludacris)
Barack Obama Meets with Ludacris (Blogger News Network)
Obama, Ludacris Rap about AIDS (Chicago Sun-Times)

High Jump Then Side Step

Way to work your home court advantage Michelle. Good hustle. The Chicago Defender was raving about your performance at a recent luncheon for "High Jump" an organization that serves limited income kids. You nailed your up by your bootstraps/humble beginnings/I'm one of you speech (presumably while NOT wearing your mink). But goddammit Barack should buy you another friggin' fur for mitigating even a little of the damage done by the bone-headed deal with Rezko. The scandelette simmered in Chicago for a while, but NPR picked up on the ticking time bomb this morning and that's naaaaahhhhhtttt good. BO's gonna have to explain this one for the next two years. I know you couldn't have possibly signed off on that deal before hand. It's just too stupid. But now it's your problem, so under no circumstances are you to allow Bahm-Bahm to make any more "agreements". 'Kay? Thanks.

PETA Soaks Barack Obama's Wife in Human Blood

Okay not really. But don't think they won't. Listen to me Sheh-shell. Get rid of the mink. Quick, fast, and in a hurry. I know you live in cold-ass Chicago. I know the family just had its first good year($1.7 mil. to be exact) . So you were probably just getting your splurge on after BO signed his book deal. (shoulda stopped there instead of going on the mansion hunt that landed him in his first scandalette...but I digress). PETA does not play and said coat is not worth the huge political damage you will no doubt incur when pictures of you getting PETA-pied are splashed all over YouTube.
And, even if you escape the animal rights jihadis - voters in Arkansas will give you the cold shoulder if they hear you've been flaunting your fabulous fur.

Tip: Learn from a master. Check paragraph 24 of Nixon's "Checkers" speech.